Beachcomber in Space, Part 4

 

cover art by Malcolm Smith

Read/Watch 'em In Order #162

Ebbtide's last adventure was "Ebbtide Jones on the Warpath," by Miles Shelton, which appeared in the June 1942 issue of Fantastic Adventures.

When I originally read through these stories, I was assuming that the Ebbtide saga was set in the future, as it included casual space travel and interactions with life on other planets in the solar system. 

But, apparently, the tales are instead set in a parallel reality. Because Ebbtide encounters the Nazis, who--in 1942--had taken over most of Europe. 

Actually, I think Shelton just didn't worry about continuity. The Ebbtide stories are built on silly premises supported by slapstick humor.  I think the early stories were indeed set in the future, but Shelton just changed the setting to then-contemporary times just for the heck of it. Also, though published in 1942, the story was evidently written the previous war, before Pearl Harbor pulled the U.S. into the war.

Anyway, Ebbtide demonstrates he's not big on current events. He has an idea that a junk king named Hitler has set up business in Europe, but is violating the ethics of junkmen by creating rather than collecting junk. Ebbtide heads over to Europe in his Atom-Contrictor, the large vehicle that can turn objects into small two-dimensional discs.

He has an encounter in Holland with two Nazi policeman, who speak in vaudvillian accents and are confused by Ebbtide's vehicle. Ebbtide also finds out his wife Trixie has stowed away in the vehicle. Soon, a French painter also joins the group.

It's senseless to explain how all this unfolds. This is the most purely slapstick of the four Ebbtide tales and it shows as much internal logic as a Three Stooges short. Suffice to say that Ebbtide gets annoyed by the Nazis, turns the Nazi cops into discs, then does the same with several Nazi tanks. When he encounters a Nazi army getting ready to invade England, he has the French painter paint an advertisement for beer and frankfuters. He has Trixie dance a jitterbug to increase the visual appeal of this advertisement. He thus lures 50,000 German soldiers into the Atom-Constrictors and turns them into discs.

Then he drives to England (apparently the Atom-Contrictor can travel on water, though the story doesn't really explain this) and sells the discs as scrap metal to the British. It proves to be just enough metal to equip some fishing boats with armor, which in turn will block any Nazi invasion.Yeah, that makes sense.

It is a funny story. Also, I think its for the best that the Ebbtide stories came to an end at this point. You can tell that the basic concept is starting to strain to get to the jokes. Perhaps if it had continued with the Space Opera setting, this might have added more mileage to the concept. But, as it stands, Ebbtide Jones retired from the Pulp Universe at the right time, before he began to wear out his welcome.

You can read the story online HERE.