Let's Play Pirate!

I wrote an article some years ago about the War-of-1812 cruise of the USS Essex, which sailed around the Horn to the Pacific, where it raided British shipping until it got captured by a Limey warship. The Essex was commanded by Captain David Porter and future Civil War-era admiral David Farragut served aboard as a midshipman.

That’s why I have an immediate “Hey, that’s cool” reaction to Yankee Buccaneer (1952), which is about Porter, Farragut and the Essex. Of course, the movie has no relation at all to reality. It’s set after the war—no exact year is given, but the Napoleonic Wars (which ended about the same time as our war with the British) are said to be over. Porter is still commanding the Essex (which in real life had ben captured by the British) and is stationed in the Caribbean. Farragut, now a lieutenant, is freshly assigned on board and brings secret orders with him.

Those orders are a doozy. The Essex is to strip itself of anything that identifies it as a naval vessel and pretend to be a pirate, then seek information on where actual pirates are hanging out.

It’s a fun film with a solid premise. Jeff Chandler plays Porter as a strict man who follows the book. Chandler was pretty much the go-to guy for this sort of role in the 1950s and does his typically fine job. Scott Brady plays Farragut as very independent-minded, a trait that regularly puts him in hot water with Porter.

Farragut is the younger of the two actors and the one who was probably supposed to make the ladies in the movie theater swoon, so I appreciate the fact that the movie obviously (and correctly) puts Porter in the right for staying within orders and within regulations. Farragut risks the ship during a storm to save a crewman, but the maneuver he orders causes damage to the rudder and endangers everyone. This gets him in trouble. Porter, unwilling to risk men repairing the rudder in the water in shark-infested waters, opts to slowly maneuver the Essex to an island before making those repairs. Farragut tries to make the repairs on his own and ends up going mano-a-mano with a shark, beating the shark but failing to fix the rudder. This gets him in more trouble. There’s also an identification bracelet Farragut wears with the name of one of his former vessels on it. He keeps it for sentimental reasons even after Porter tells him to get rid of it, which comes back to bite him in the butt big time, putting him and the men he’s with in serious danger.

Later, while ashore on an island overseeing re-provisioning, Farragut unexpectedly meets a beautiful Portuguese Countess. This is unusual enough in itself. What’s more unusual is that the Countess has a pistol and forces Farragut to take her aboard the Essex. This gets the poor lieutenant in even more trouble with Porter.

The Countess, played by a Hubba-Hubba level actress named Suzan Ball (Lucille Ball's second

cousin), is involved in political shenanigans regarding Brazilian independence from Portugal, a treasure fleet taking gold from Rio to London and a dishonest Spanish nobleman who is in league with both the Portuguese and the pirates that Porter has been looking for.

This all, in turn, leads to a situation in which Farragut and some of the Essex crew are prisoners of the Spanish and facing torture. Porter—the man who prides himself on following orders—must now stretch those orders well past the breaking point when he brings a landing party onto a technically friendly nation and try to pull off a daring rescue.

It all really is good fun. Joseph Calleia nicely underplays the main villain (the dishonest Spaniard), giving him an effectively sinister air. The rest of the cast (particularly Chandler) is quite good as well. It’s a little disappointing at the end that the Essex doesn’t deal with the actual pirate fleet they’ve discovered (they head home to sic the rest of the American navy on them), which means that several secondary villains we’ve met along the way abruptly disappear from the story. Also, there’s unnecessary montage that implies both Porter and Farragut are falling for the Countess, but there’s no follow-up for that. But that second point is a minor quibble and the absence of a proper resolution for some of the villains doesn’t spoil the rest of the fun. Yankee Buccaneer is an entertaining pirate film. And, by golly, it is fun to watch two real-life people I’ve written about team-up again for one more adventure.

I wanted to include a clip from the movie, but it's owned by Universal, the studio that shoves you to the ground and takes your lunch money whenever you try to post a clip of one of their movies on YouTube. Sorry about that. 

Shogun Warriors, Part 3

 I'm a little torn about these two issues (Shogun Warriors #7 & 8--August & September 1979). The first big story arc has been brought to a satisfying conclusion with Maur-Kon's monster-making base destroyed. So this is the dramatically appropriate place to put in a lull and give us some background on the human characters.

And, since the Shogun Warrior robots are essentially weapons systems without personalities of their own, it makes sense to give us some in-depth characterizations for their pilots.

Writer Doug Moench does give us likable protagonists with clearly defined personalities. Richard Carson rejoins his girl friend Deena (also a stunt driver), Ilongo Savage returns to his research on dolphins (this was right smack in the middle of the "dolphins-can-be-taught-human-language" phase of science fiction). Genji Odashu has to explain what the heck happened to the prototype airplane she was flying when the Fellowship of the Light teleported her away and drafted her into anti-robot combat.

It's all good stuff and we really do like these guys. But the first half of the seventh issue undeniably drags a little. Moench's tendency to write dialogue-heavy scripts is probably a negative here. In a Moench story, no one ever says anything in just one sentence when they can drag it across three or four sentences.

Oh, well. It's not as if half a comic is all that long a time. The action picks up again soon. And that action is well worth waiting for.



Also, I do wonder why the Shogun pilots have such trouble getting anyone to believe their stories. One presumes monster fights through the streets of a city would make the 6 o'clock news even in a comic book universe. And it is a comic book universe--we will eventually learn that it is set firmly in regular Marvel continuity. So getting teleported away to be the pilots for giant anti-monster robots isn't all that unusual.

By the end of the eighth issue, Genji's been arrested, while Savage is about to investigate a strange meteor that landed near his location. But the action centers mostly around Carson and his robot Raydeen.



A mysterious new monster shows up along the West Coast of the U.S.--fortunately not far from where Carson and Deena are shooting a film. The Followers teleport Raydeen to the area. Carson soon has to bring Deena aboard the robot with him to keep her out of the crossfire once the fight begins. But that turns out to be a good thing--she proves to be a skilled co-pilot.

The monster, by the way, is a really dandy one. It's called Cerberus because it has many heads--
actually, five detachable vehicles that can rejoin as its head in different combinations to give it different capabilities.

That's just cool.

Herb Trimpe continues to give us great battle scenes, with this particular fight spilling over into the next issue.












Except for a few scenes to set up Savage's and Genji's respective story arcs, the battle lasts through the eighth issue, given extra flavor when Carson/Raydeen needs to take time to rescue a Coast Guard ship (and give them a talking too for shooting at him as well as Cerberus).







A few minutes after that, Raydeen has to save people in a cliff-side house that's been knocked loose by a stray shot from Cerberus.

Cerberus is eventually forced to retreat. Its origin is still a mystery, but it's no longer endangering anyone.

All things considered, these two issues continue to provide us with real fun and adventure. I even realize that my criticisms above can be seen as unfair--we do need to have some effort to flesh out the human characters. It's just that the poor people are competing for attention against robots and monsters. No mere mortal can ever stand against that.

Next week, we'll return to Gotham City and watch Batman.... beat up some blind guys? Gee whiz, Bruce!

Cover Cavalcade

Blade's wooden throwing knives were the coolest anti-vampire weapons this side of the garlic-tipped darts that fired out of Quincy Harker's wheelchair.

Friday's Favorite OTR

CBS Radio Mystery Theater: "The Haunted Mill" 11/8/77

A very, very spooky and atmospheric ghost story about an old haunted mill and a missing man who may or may not be dead.

Click HERE to listen or download.

Fight 'em One-Handed!

Avenging Rider (1943) gets off to an admittedly weak start--since it depends on Tim Holt's character (Brit Marshall) getting fooled by a gang of gold thieves a little too easily. This lands Brit and his sidekick (Cliff "Ukelele Ike" Edwards) in the slammer, falsely accused of robbery and murder.

Fortunately, the script allows Holt to start acting intelligently again. He needs to figure out a way to clear himself and his friends. As is always the case in B-movies, the best plan is for Holt and Cliff to bust jail and find the real crooks. In fact, unless I miscounted, they get captured on three separate occasions throughout this 55-minute film, only to manage an escape each time. Might as well put a revolving door on that jail cell. It's worse than Arkham Asylum.

That's not a complaint, though. The movie is a lot of fun, with several nifty action set-pieces and (after Holt's initial stupidity) a solid script.

There's a neat plot device used in this one. When the four real robbers ask a crooked banker to hide the stolen gold, they want something to guarantee their claim to the loot. Rather understandably, the banker doesn't want to give them a signed receipt. Instead, he divides a playing card into five pieces. He'll keep one piece and anyone showing up with another piece can claim a share of the gold.

Naturally, these playing card fragments become an important clue while Holt is tracking the villains and trying to figure out what's going on.


One of the action scenes, by the way, is particularly fun. Holt, who has a wounded arm, gets into a fist fight with a crooked gambler. He has to fight one-handed, but manages to curb stomp the gambler even while under this disadvantage.





Avenging Rider has all the elements you expect from a solid B-Western: Likable heroes, despicable bad guys, nice location photography, a good story and some humor. The sidekick is reasonably funny, but the best laughs come from the dimwitted deputy that Holt and Cliff are continually tricking into allowing them to escape.

School for Sheriffs

In theory, Hopalong Cassidy worked for the Bar 20 ranch, but in both movies and comic books, he ended up taking temporary work as a lawman when the situation called for it. How he managed this while still running a large ranch is frankly beyond me. The time-management aspect of it seems insurmountable. But then, Hoppy is a remarkable guy.

In fact, he's so remarkable that in DC's Hopalong Cassidy book, he even had time to teach a class for perspective sheriffs.

By the way, Fawcett Comics had the license for Hoppy from the mid-1940s until they folded in 1953. DC took over the book and retained the old numbering system. The book we're reviewing it Hoppy #117 (September 1956), written by John Broome.

Hoppy spends most of the sheriff class calling the students to task for carrying shoddy equipment--or even for not having your cartridge belt fully stocked with spare ammo. But Hoppy isn't just being mean. He's determined to make sure his students don't get killed.

One guy is short a bullet in his belt. But can one bullet make a difference? Hoppy recounts a tale where he was cornered by outlaws with only one bullet left. He used a clever trick to get the drop on the bad guys, but if hadn't had that one extra bullet, he'd have been killed.

The story sets up its theme very effectively this way. Hoppy isn't going all Drill Sergeant on the newbies, but he is stern and might potentially seem petulant. But as he continues to make his points, he also makes it clear that he's teaching these guys stuff that really will keep them alive.






Another student has a loose spur. That's a potential problem as well. In fact, a loose spur nearly got Hoppy killed once and did blow a chance to trail some outlaws back to their hideout (and their hidden loot) before he had to take them out.


Yet another student has a frayed spot on his rope. This time, Hoppy relates a story in which an outlaw he was pursuing had a frayed rope--something Hoppy was able to capitalize on to save his own life. The point is the same, though. Poorly maintained equipment can cost you dearly.

"School for Sheriffs" is a neat little story, with a well-constructed plot and great Gene Colan art work.

And Hoppy really is a great teacher--providing us with a model of what a teacher in any subject is supposed to do, whether teaching adults or kids. The teacher isn't there to make friends with the students or build their self-esteem. He's there to teach them what they need to know and make it clear that there are consequences for not learning it. THAT, by golly, is what a teacher does.

Next week, we'll revisit the Shogun Warriors as we continue to examine their complete saga.

New banner for the blog.

I have a new banner for my blog, a portrait of the blog's behind-the-scenes editor, Melvin the Velociraptor. Actually, it's still unfinished--some color needs to be added and the artist tells me that he'll be adjusting some of the shadows and background opacity. But it looks so awesome that I thought I'd start using it now, updating it to the finished version when that's ready in a few days.

The artist is Ben Alvarez and you can see more of his work HERE.

Cover Cavalcade

Cute and Fun cover by Walt Kelly from 1947.

Friday's Favorite OTR

Hall of Fantasy: "Treasure of Kubla Khan"

A small group of treasure seekers follow a map that supposedly leads them to the legendary treasure of Kubla Khan. There's a story that Khan's general is still guarding the treasure after all these centuries, but this is dismissed as obvious nonsense.

Click HERE to listen or download.

Diamonds of Death

Read/Watch 'em In Order #68

"Diamonds of Death" (Black Mask, August 1931) finds private eye Jo Gar in San Francisco. He's found six of the ten stolen diamonds, but his one remaining suspect managed to slip through customs without the remaining four being discovered.

Fortunately, a customs agent visits Jo Gar with new of where the suspect has holed up. Unfortunately, the customs agent isn't really a customs agent. Jo is being lured into a trap.

Jo Gar knows the agent was a fake and the supposed hide-out is a trap. But this is a chance to find the rest of the diamonds, catch the man responsible for so many murders and finally just get to go home. So he walks into the trap. (Though not without making some preparations first.)

This final story in the "Rainbow Diamonds" series is wonderful. Jo Gar's final confrontation with the chief bad guy is very, very tense and keeps the reader riveted to the story from start to finish. The serial has a whole is the high point in the career of an already great hard-boiled character, with this final chapter arguably the best of the lot.

It's interesting to compare this story with "Red Dawn"--the fourth story in the serial. I was a little critical of that one, because several elements of the story (the bad guy spouting off information for no good reason) seemed a little contrived. "Diamonds of Death" ends with a similar situation and once again has the villain conveniently explaining his actions, but somehow comes across as much more natural. I'm not even sure why--Raoul Whitfeld simply makes it work here.

There's another aspect of the story I love. Jo Gar arrives at the house he's been lured to by cab. Part of his preparations for foiling what he knows is a trap is to tell the cab driver to honk his horn at set intervals, then go for the police. The cab driver ups the ante by saying he packs a gun and is willing to come into the house after Jo Gar if necessary.

Gee whiz, all this for a fare he literally just met. You just don't get that kind of service nowadays. I blame Uber.

The next Read 'em in Order will be a look at the first of two Doc Savage novels in which the Man of Bronze battles a villain who may actually be as smart as he is.