Walking a Beat in a Combat Zone

cover art by Jerry Grandenetti

A lot of DC Comics' war stories from the Silver Age were driven by gimmicks. The protagonist (often a one-shot character who might not even necessarily get a name) has a character quirk, phobia or unique incident from his past that will be the driving force of the story.

This is the case with "Battle Beat," which appeared in Star-Spangled War Stories #56 (September 1956). A former cop is now a military policeman. Back in the States, he had walked a lonely beat where nothing much every happened. Now he's patrolling a bombed-out village in which nothing much is happening.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: If you live in a Comic Book Universe, DON'T TEMPT FATE. Don't say there's no chance of the supervillain attacking. Don't say that vampires don't exist. Don't say the dinosaur frozen in the iceberg won't come back to life. In fact, just play it safe. Don't every say anything.

This guy moans and groans about how he's stuck in a deserted town and there's not a chance for action. That he's being shot at a moment later should be no surprise to anyone. A Nazi armored car shows up literally while he is complaining about the lack of action and starts spitting machine gun bullets at him.

And this guy just DOESN'T LEARN. He takes out the armored car with a grenade and immediately starts talking about how quiet it is again. And he immediately starts getting shot at by two German soldiers.

He also apparently forgot anything he learned as a cop about calling for back-up, though to be fair there's no indication he has a radio available.

As soon as he kills the Germans, he literally starts thinking that the renewed quiet can get on a man's nerves. A Tiger tank then shows up.

After he destroys the tank, he finally learns his lesson, thinking about how nice it will be to return to a nice quiet beat after the war. He's lucky he didn't need a V-2 rocket to land on his helmet for him to get the point.

I'm making fun of the story (written by Bill Finger and drawn by Mort Meskin), but it is a enjoyable tale, staying consistant with its gimmick for its 6-page length and giving us some good action. The DC war stories were often gimmicky, but they were also entertaining.

Next week, Adam Strange battles barbarians riding robot unicorns.